Oh Yeah!

1 month since I re-committed myself to my weight loss thing. I have lost 15.8 lbs!! Yay!

I hate all of the neighbors and all of their spawn

Some shitty, fat-ass, little boy just kicked two panels out from our vinyl fence. I wanted to beat him into the ground.

I think most of the people that read this know my neighborhood story. If not here's the short story: dog poop in our yard, screaming fights in the street, drug deals and cop cars retrieving stolen vehicles, little, little kids running around in the street and everywhere else at all hours. Saturated pull-ups underneath a POS El Camino and a mom screaming curse words at her toddler. I could go on for a while longer, but I won't. It's why we got the flipping fence. To block it out. Eddy's in the backyard trying to get the panels back in with the shit-head's dad helping.

Please! Please! Buy our house!

Military base Camp Lejeune

I just found out some very interesting stuff. My dad was in the Navy right out of high school and was stationed at Camp Lajeune (la-june) in North Carolina. Apparently from 1950 something to the early 80's the drinking water there was contaminated with solvent and degreaser; chemicals often used in dry cleaning. Contaminated by up to 500 times the "safe" level. There is a ton of info out there and things are starting to unravel; cases being brought to court, scientific study results, etc. A strong connection between these chemicals and cancer, specifically kidney, exist. Many children born on base are overwhelmed by different diseases and conditions, many of these children died before reaching adulthood. Many with aggressive types of cancer. Crap. Apparently, there is documentation of the military being notified about the contaminants, the extreme concentration of these contaminants, and the military chose to do nothing. It wasn't until '85 that the water sources identified as contaminated were shut down.

Crazy shit. I'm sending my dad all of the info. My thoughts are if my dad can be awarded some sort of compensation, he can leave my mother knowing that she'll be able to take care of herself. Maybe that would also alleviate his fears of losing health coverage once he is unable to work any longer. I'm just hoping that maybe this will reduce some worries and allow him to focus on spending time doing what he wants to and spending time with those he loves.

I don't want to title this.

I can't believe I forgot. I knew that my parents had gone for more scans to check the progress of his treatments and were awaiting the results. Well apparently they received the results a couple of days ago. My mom told me tonight.

All areas show growth of the cancer. No shrinkage, no slowing, nothing. Originally the doctor had said that my dad had 6 months without treatment and 18 months with. If the treatment is not working does that mean we're back to 6 months (I think 5 have already passed)? They have to wait a week to talk to the oncologist. You should NOT have to wait when you are terminally ill. It is wrong and it makes me soooo angry. I got all emotional last night just feeling like I really needed to be with my dad... Tonight I feel desperate to be with him. But he is working. Working! If I were him I'd QUIT. Although he is rightfully concerned about health care. I feel like all of the excesses in his life should be removed. He just should be as happy and as comfortable as possible.

This whole thing is just wrong. It feels so heavy, so twisted. I realize that I am not the first daughter to face losing a father, but it feels unbearable.